I don't want to do anything at the moment. I don't want to see anyone either. People and their agendas and conversations are almost too much right now - at least I can maintain it for work purposes but I can't be bothered to fake it with people I care about.
I just want to shut my eyes and scream - I feel so frustrated and exhausted. I'm not where I want to be but I cannot be bothered to fix the situation.. or maybe I am too tired and scared to change things?
I just want Netflix and a cup of tea when I come home. I want to do Pilates and stretches, NOT run in the freezing weather. I want new clothes to replace old shit that I feel makes me look frumpy. I want a new space in my home, I want to decorate and hibernate away from the world. I want TIME.
Why do I never seem to have any? It feels like living takes up time and there are demands for the little time I have to make others happy, to be directional, to learn, to be something, to even clean the damn house. I just want SPACE. And TIME. Is it so much to ask?
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