Sometimes I think about killing myself, a lot more than I should. I think about it as release from being this awful shit person and escaping emotions and situations I just can't deal with. And I'm a coward. Someone who can't cope with simple things. A selfish child and pathetic person. But all the time a part of me is screaming to be included, noticed, actually listened to and seen. I feel no one listens to me, they just hear my voice and sometimes pick up words. Am I just not important enough to listen to? Or is what I say the real problem? I am just sick of everything and i know it hurts others but I'm hurting so much all the time that on some level I want others to see it, to understand how it feels to feel ignored and rejected - all by just feeling like a problem rather than a person.
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