I feel as if I am experiencing a taste of my own medicine. I feel under duress and like I have to solve a problem or at least say the right thing. Did Jason feel this way when I was at my worst? Maybe my family did too. I was demanding an answer to something they could not determine or truly confirm. I feel awful that I may have done that. And now I am feeling it from another.
I know it isn't their fault at all but I still feel stricken and like I cannot do anything. I cannot justify and reassure. From this day forward I refuse to subject Jason to this. With all my fat complaints and worrying about my appearance, spending, ridiculous crap. It isn't damn fair.
And now I feel depressed about the subject. It is one I cannot understand and generally hate talking about. In my mind the world is a horrible place and the only way to cope is to surround ourselves with happy and positive people and experiences - for the most part. And try and make as little damaging impact on the world - giving out what we want in return basically. Maybe the world isn't horrible.. but it is certainly difficult, and screaming and squirming and full of loads of people with lives and pain and love and misery etc. So yes tough in that sense.
I am part of something bigger though, a life cycle that makes me insignificant and it is perfect and continuous.
